Thursday, November 20, 2008

Top 15 Biblical Ways To Find A Wife


1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. (Deuteronomy 21:10-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. (Moses in Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. (Boaz in Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the woman comes out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. (Benjamites in Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. (Adam in Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right, 14 years of toil for Mrs. Right. (Jacob in Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut 200 foreskins of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. (David in I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. It's all relative, of course. (Cain in Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Xerxes in Esther 2:3-3)

11. Kill my husband and take HIS wife (prepare to lose 4 sons, though). (David in 2 Samuel 11)

12. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a woman. Now get her for me as a wife." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She is the one for me." (Samson in Judges 14:1-3)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (Onan-Genesis 39:8)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (Solomon 1 Kings11:1-3)

15. A wife?...not!!! (Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:31-35)

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